Post Partum Piss Up

I went to a party on Saturday night.  Yes a party!  I stayed at a hotel and everything.  It was a proper grown up party although I quite obviously behaved like a teenager.

Now most sensible adults would have a few drinks, a bit of a boogie on the dance floor and leave at a sensible hour so as to enjoy the hotel breakfast in the morning before picking the children up.  I'm not sensible.

I peak far too early.  On route in the car I'm downing cans of G&T - I think the young people call this pre-drinks.  Once ready I'm practically running to the venue.  I can barely contain my excitement at the prospect of an adult night out!  Of course I forget that the children are a mere 24hrs away.  I'm on the dance floor by 9pm where I stay until 1.30am.  I'm wearing my one and only pair of designer shoes (I haven't been brave enough to look at them yet), I'm sure designer shoes aren't meant for excessive dancing especially with my post partum excess weight.  I spend any time off the dance floor talking utter drivel to people I barely know.  I collapse in the hotel room at 2 with throbbing feet and a pre-hangover.

After 7hrs sleep I can no longer sleep and after an hour of tossing and turning decide to go downstairs for breakfast.  I'm still quite dizzy but manage to make it to the table and order.  The food looks lovely but I can't eat anything (due to the immense nausea) I take a muffin and a cappuccino back to the room and lay down to help the alcohol sweats cease.

I then spend the rest of the day at my Mother in-law's house pretending that I feel fine whilst changing an excessive amount of pooy nappies (God knows what she'd been feeding them). 

I've now had a 12 hours sleep and I still feel like crap!  They should give out a leaflet in the maternity ward explaining that drinking alcohol after birth will result in a weeks worth of hangover! The fuzzy head is one thing  but the flash backs of complete twattish behaviour is far worse.

I'm never drinking again!!

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